Armageddon - 01 The Musical by Robert Rankin

Author:Robert Rankin [Rankin, Robert]
Format: epub, mobi
Publisher: Robert Rankin
Published: 2010-05-29T13:06:35.540000+00:00

'We don't have an inexhaustible budget.' Mungo did piercing eye-stares at the board's newest member. 'In fact, anything but.'

'All taken into consideration sir. FX, if you understand me.'

'I don't, Morgawr.'

'Special effects, sir.'

Mungo sighed deeply. 'Continue for now, Morgawr. I will stop you when I'm fed up with it.'

'Indeed, sir,' Morgawr paced about the boardroom, like a Hollywood lawyer of old. Placing his hands upon leafy chairbacks, punching the air, turning to face the window, flexing his shoulders. It was all too excruciating. 'What we have here is a situation,' he said at great length.

'Is that it?' Mungo asked.

Fergus, to whom Mungo's glance momentarily turned, twirled his forefinger against his forehead and said, 'Stone bonkers.'

'A situation which offers the series an opportunity to rise to heights as yet undreamed of. To scale summits, hitherto considered unscalable. To venture into territories . . .'

'Warily avoided by the sane of mind?' Fergus suggested.

'Cosmic cataclysm,' crowed Morgawr. 'And all live on screen.'

'Did you have anything specific in mind?' Mungo asked.

'Apocalypse.' Jason Morgawr made extravagant gestures with his arms. 'Picture this in your minds. Earth's final hour, battle rages, bombs go bang and boom and

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whoosh and . . .' ('We have a picture of the bombs, yes,' said Mungo.)'... the final showdown between good and evil. Will good succeed? Evil has the upper hand, missiles are flying, bombs going . . .' ('Yes.') '. . . fire and brimstone. And what is this? The heavens are opening, a trumpet speaks, and across the clouds the riders come. Angels with swords of fire. Michael and all the saints. Celestial chariots bearing down and at what? Up from the bottomless pit come the hordes of hell, led by the angel of death himself. With the skull face and the horrible claws.' Jason mimed that bit. (Lavinius Wisten said, 'Oh, my.') 'The battle rages across the sky, the armies of God and the legions of the Devil. And are the baddies winning? Surely not. But they are, the terrible cutting and hewing and chopping.' Jason paused a moment to draw breath. The board members watched him, uniformly dumbstruck and open-mouthed. Jason plunged on, 'And hacking. The saints are losing, evil crushes them. It's terrible, terrible.' Heads began to nod, it was terrible. 'Then look up, what is this? The sky parts, bursts of golden rays, more angels and a great light streaming down. Can it be? Yes, yes ... it is He, upon the beryl throne, shining like a thousand suns . . . the second come . . . the second come . . .'

'Morgawr!' The voice was all Mungo's. The board members all went aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaw. 'Morgawr. The second coming, fire and brimstone, angels and devils and bombs that go crash bang wallop. All these things are included in your projected budget? Your projected modest little budget? Your projected strike-me-down-I-don't-know-how-they-could-do-that-on-the-money little budget? Your . . .'

file:///F|/rah/Robert%20Rankin/Rankin,%20Robert%20-%20Armageddon%2001%20-%20Armageddon%20The%20Musical.txt

'Already been taped, sir.' All eyes turned upon Jason Morgawr. 225 Mungo said, 'What did you say?' 'Already been taped.' Fergus Shaman waggled his hand in the air.

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